Ever since these “Advocates” found a formidable opponent
with the Tobacco Industry, Public and Private Businesses have made it a point
to limit the area where you can light a cigarette. So we smokers are now left
with our 1 square meter of smoking area. Thank you for your consideration.
I’m
not one to complain and I know they’re right, but that small space is a perfect
venue for awkward moments.
I look forward to my breaks when I’m at work. Break time’s sole purpose is to be selfish. This is the one time when I stick it to the man and do something only for myself without even thinking of anybody else.
Break
time is for smoking. For one moment in a day, I am the master and I don’t care
about the consequences (even though I’m not and I do care). I walked the long
hallway towards the exit of our office. I passed the spacious lobby to exit our
building. I skedaddled my way as I pass a line of store windows. Down the
stairs towards the open area, hurrying as my break just got cut in half. I
stepped on the curb and walked the street. I passed a burning bush. I battled
my way through thorns. I gave the right answer to a Sphinx. I went up to the
sky. I swam a river of acid. I kept my eye on the North Star while the sun set
behind me and Bazinga! I got there at last!
It was a small smoking area. It was so small that if I
closed my eyes, everybody in the area saw darkness. I was alone at first. I lit
my cigarette and started to puff the smoke.
I was at peace… at last. Then a guy came and asked, “Can I have a light?” I, with a smile, lit his cigarette, and then he moved to his own corner. Then the uncomfortable air started to set in.
We would exchange gazes when the other was looking somewhere else. It was so weird. I started asking myself weird questions.
“Should I engage him in a conversation?”
“Why doesn’t he engage me first?”
“Do I seem unengaged-able?”
“Maybe if I smiled a little I’d be more engage-able.”
“I have four smiles, which do I use?”
“Is my hair okay?”
“Are we fire brothers now that we’ve shared one of earth’s vital elements?”
It just got weirder and more uncomfortable as the time progressed. I could catch him looking at me through my peripheral and him the same thing. I couldn’t enjoy my cigarette break.
Then I had a breakthrough, I thought if we won’t be talking I could just leave with a really good farewell quip. A really witty exit so that he could remember me as the cool guy he had a cigarette with and not an awkward uncomfortable person. I was thinking of something smart with the likes of, “see ‘ya later, alligator” or “catch ‘a later chief! “This must be awesome”, I said to myself. But, then he finished first. I panicked! I needed the witty retort now! As he left, he gave me a nod. I on the other hand, still panicking, flicked my cigarette and said, “Nyambrod Sir!” It wasn’t even a phrase.
To make matters worse, I had my arm up as if I was swearing allegiance to a non-existent flag. He gave me a dead gaze followed by fear and then turned around and left. I was so embarrassed I smoked another cigarette.
Then another man walks in and asks,”Can I have a light?”
I was at peace… at last. Then a guy came and asked, “Can I have a light?” I, with a smile, lit his cigarette, and then he moved to his own corner. Then the uncomfortable air started to set in.
We would exchange gazes when the other was looking somewhere else. It was so weird. I started asking myself weird questions.
“Should I engage him in a conversation?”
“Why doesn’t he engage me first?”
“Do I seem unengaged-able?”
“Maybe if I smiled a little I’d be more engage-able.”
“I have four smiles, which do I use?”
“Is my hair okay?”
“Are we fire brothers now that we’ve shared one of earth’s vital elements?”
It just got weirder and more uncomfortable as the time progressed. I could catch him looking at me through my peripheral and him the same thing. I couldn’t enjoy my cigarette break.
Then I had a breakthrough, I thought if we won’t be talking I could just leave with a really good farewell quip. A really witty exit so that he could remember me as the cool guy he had a cigarette with and not an awkward uncomfortable person. I was thinking of something smart with the likes of, “see ‘ya later, alligator” or “catch ‘a later chief! “This must be awesome”, I said to myself. But, then he finished first. I panicked! I needed the witty retort now! As he left, he gave me a nod. I on the other hand, still panicking, flicked my cigarette and said, “Nyambrod Sir!” It wasn’t even a phrase.
To make matters worse, I had my arm up as if I was swearing allegiance to a non-existent flag. He gave me a dead gaze followed by fear and then turned around and left. I was so embarrassed I smoked another cigarette.
Then another man walks in and asks,”Can I have a light?”
