Freelance. It’s for people who value their sleep too much or
don’t value it at all.
It’s for those who hate getting up the same time every day,
or for the ones who really love getting up at random times of the day.
Freelancer…
If you ask any freelancer why they chose to freelance, their
answer would most likely be: “I just don’t want to be tied down as an employee,”
or “I want to be my own boss.” It’s usually built around those contexts. The
way I see it, if you’re freelancing, doesn’t that make everybody your boss? It’s
like giving up to be somebody’s slave, so that you could be a whole lot of
other people’s slave (I was going to say b*tch instead of slave, but I wussed
out). I mean, I should know. I’ve been in freelance for years now.
I am a freelancer; which also means I am broke. Yes, the
dream of freelance work is not at all what was promised. In order to make it in
the freelance business, you have to eat a lot of bull crap.
And I mean a lot. You’re going to have to gargle bull crap
from people who think they are heaven’s creative gift to the human race. It’s
either that or you can live on your principles. But believe me, only one of them
will feed your hunger and it’s not your principles.
Broke…
I am so broke, I need a replacement.
I am broke. But I do have prospects. Being broke is like
being single in the dating scene. Prospects in this scenario are the dates you
go to. Sometimes you get to meet the love of your life and you live happily
ever after, on top of a mountain castle, with your beautiful, blonde-and-blue-eyed
children. Sometimes you get to meet someone you might not end up with but you
learn a lot and you grow and still stay friends; BFF’s even! But more often,
you end up getting stood up, left hungry, feeling ugly, and kicked back into
the uncertain playing fields of Tinder. Suffice to say, in freelance you either
hit the jackpot or end up drowning in debt with no prospects whatsoever. But
you risk it, because being broke just sucks. Nobody wants to stay single as
much as nobody wants to stay broke.
Being broke is a choice though.
Getting broke is a series of
choices as well. I didn’t get here by anybody else’s hand. I got here by making
really dumb choices. But making those choices felt like I was the master of my
universe. It’s like having to make a diaper run on a Tuesday afternoon but you decide
to smoke really good weed on the way there. Seemed like a good idea until you
find that you’ve turned into Augustus Gloop when he busted through the doors to
Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. The manager catches you running shirtless and shouting
how awesome marshmallows are with ketchup and milk. Then you get arrested.
Almost parallel to what will happen to you when you’re drowning in debt because
you start making bad choices. See what I did there? Eh? Eh?
Back to point, being broke is a choice. By that logic then
being “not broke” is part of that choice. The problem is when you’ve chosen to
be broke, the world kind of works to make sure you stay there a bit. It’s like
starting a conversation with an old cat lady; she just won’t shut up about her
cats, their names and their talents. Don’t get me wrong, I like cats but there
are just better things I should be doing right now.
But… Broke = some perks.
Having limited resources makes you appreciate the things you
have been deprived of. I often joke that I don’t remember how it felt to have a
full tank of gas in the car and that I am the only person who has ever worn out
the empty gas indicator light. It’s a distinction I wear with pride. Being
broke also made me resourceful. Who would’ve thought that the number of times
you can wear the same pair of jeans does not rest on how dirty it is but rather
how much you can withstand dirty laundry.
But I am done being broke.
To you my dear broke-ness; it’s been fun knowing all your
cats but I am done with you. I need to get back to what I really should be
doing, and that is ruling over my kingdom of mediocrity and taking over other
mediocre kingdoms. Thank you for entertaining me though. Go bother someone else
with your cat stories.
